The cable channel TLC has a series of shows for every stage of a young family's life - A Wedding Story, A Birth Story, An Adoption Story. I'd like to propose a new show highlighting the reality of life with baby. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you:
A Poop Story
Scene: a pleasant suburban home, early afternoon. An attractive 30-something married couple are cleaning up the remnants of their son's first birthday party.
Cue: fussing baby noises from the nursery
Mother: Well hello darling! You didn't take a very long nap... [picks child up out of crib] Oh, heavens, you're butt naked! [carries pantless child into the living room where Father is picking up toys] Honey, did you forget to put his pants back on after you changed his diaper?
Father: Of course I put his pants back on! Where are they?
[Mother and Father return to nursery, where the turn on the overhead light]
Mother: Oh, for the love... Here are his pants, and his diaper... and his POOP.
Father: Oh no - what?
Mother: Yep, he managed to pull off his pants and his diaper and there is poop everywhere!
[Mother instinctively holds baby at arm's length and carries him into the bathroom for a bath, leaving Father to strip off the crib sheet, the blankets, the stuffed toys and wash them in very hot water, then scrub the slats of the crib with vinegar and water]
I don't know, I think I smell an Emmy (or maybe that's just residual poop). From what I've heard, there are plenty of poop stories out there - the producers would probably not have any problem filming a few seasons. Let's just hope this was Ryan's only star turn!
1 comment:
Seems to me that he has the first two steps of potty training down pat. Pull off the pants. Pull off the diaper. Now he just has to figure out how to get out of the crib, down the hall, and onto the toilet. What an advanced little boy you have :-)
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